Have you ever ignored a subject? Just put it out of your mind? Like widowhood? I never gave it a second thought until reading The Unfaithful Widow when I realized that the author wasn’t that much older than I am. Suddenly men in the obituary pages of our local paper my husband’s age are jumping out at me. I could be the unfaithful widow. It’s unsettling. Of course, all my husband knows is that I’ve been refusing to buy potato chips and ice cream for him and nagging him to get more exercise. He thinks I’m being mean. Actually, it’s love.
The Unfaithful Widow: Fragmented Memoirs of My First Year Alone
Author: Barbara Barth
Paperback: 246 pages(also available in Kindle edition)
Publisher: Outskirts Press (April 12, 2010)
Synposis:
The Unfaithful Widow is a memoir composed of essays written by Barbara Barth about her first year as a widow. The book is divided into the seasons, a choice that makes it easier to see Barbara’s progression through grief and underlines the time that has passed when she does find herself grieving anew after months have gone by.
Review:
Going into this book I expected a tear-jerker…and yes, there were tears. But no one spends their entire life crying, even a young widow. Barbara did manage to balance grief with laughter by giving readers a glimpse at some of the more ridiculous aspects of grieving. Yet even when she’s laughing at herself you can feel that undercurrent of regret for the life she lost.
Barbara doesn’t only address the “safe” subjects of widowhood. She gives readers the reality that we may not want to acknowledge: anxiety, sex, unknowing cruelty from strangers and friends. This book truly feels like Barbara is opening up her life to you, not leaving anything out. Even though it is humorous it is shockingly honest and complete. If you are a widow or know one this book might give you a hint at their life. Even if you don’t, it is an interesting read. I never thought I’d laugh out loud while reading a memoir about being a widow!
Question:
How important is a title when choosing a book? Going into this one I thought we’d have an unfaithful wife who had remorse after the husband died–not true. But it did make me eager to read it. How many times have you picked up a book just because the title sounded irresistible? How often have you been disappointed or pleasantly surprised?
Last Week’s Giveaway:
The book When a Woman Takes an Axe to a Wall goes to Cathy C. Hall! I’ll get your prize out this week Cathy.
Hi Jodi – thank you for your lovely book review. Am very happy to land on your blog. Your question yesterday really triggered memories for me when I was writing my own story. What subject is taboo? Writing a memoir is hard and where to draw the line on what you reveal a harder decision to make. My book unfolded before me over time. The original version was sadder, but I had to vent and let out my feelings. A critique by a NY Times best selling author through my writer’s club put me on track to make the book fun. I replaced my tears with laughter and dialog and I think it worked. Now when you read the book we are having an intimate chat, friend to friend.
I think in writing a memoir you have to be true to yourself and what you want to say to the reader. I did not use names, which made it easier. My husband, my best friend, etc. The dogs did get their names in print. Adding the dialog distanced me enough I could let my story go. I am amazed at the amount of memoirs available at Amazon if you search the word. Young writers discussing everything from child abuse to being bi-polar. Those would be to heartbreaking for me. The word widow in my title could make you think of a sad subject, but as you pointed out, there is much laughter in the book. I wanted my story to be open and candid so that someone else facing a loss could realize it is OK to laugh at yourself, it is the best medicine and just do what it takes to start moving. Six dogs is an excess in hindsight, but I love them all and am writing about them now. Thanks for taking me on this wonderful blog tour. Barbara
Thanks, Jodi! Look out walls, here I come! (Honey, where did I put that axe???)